Is this normal or whatever or am I just insane?

You're not insane. Insane people don't wonder about their mental well-being and I doubt they think affectionately about people and children. So who was bullying you when you were 5? What's up with that? Now that you're 16, you should try to get over the bullying thing. Just know now that you aren't going to put up with that from anybody. If anybody tries to bully you. Bully them back. Fk that Sht. You're very young and you want companionship, of course. Don't give up. Most people go through this feeling. You can 't say that love or romance won't ever happen for you. But if you keep that negative attitude, you just might make it so. Nobody likes a downer. That means you have to feel a little positive about yourself. How can you love somebody or something else if you can't love yourself? Can I get an "Amen"? Don't get discouraged over the rejections of school girls. You will meet a lot of people and a lot of women in your life. You can't expect that you're going to hit a Grand Slam with the first ones you ask out. Forget about the suicidal thoughts. What are they doing for you other than bringing you down? Besides, if you do kill yourself, somebody is going to have to clean up the mess and deal with your corpse.